It was not my plan so early in my life to become a burden to my family and friends. I did not ask to become incurable; I did not ask to be constantly sick and in pain. I planned on working hard, playing with my grandchildren and helping my family and being there for my friends. I had that, I had the great job, I got the business degree, I had the perfect automobile to run around with my minions and then I lost it all.
I did not do this to myself, I do not drink, I do not do drugs either so why did this have to happen to me? All I want now is to no longer be a burden to anyone, make their lives easier by me no longer being in it. You may think this is selfish of me, it is not because my death is inevitable anyway. No one would have to worry about me and be free to live their lives. I also wouldn't be reminded daily how much of a burden that I am. Not by everyone but those who do, it breaks my heart. My heart does not break for myself, but it breaks for them because I am causing their grief.
I am not and will not take my own life but if there is a merciful God I wish he would just let me come home.
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